The priest says "Let's screw him!" Newton Crosby To make things interesting, they agree to see who is best at converting the bears in the local woods. Every time he misses a shot, he says 'Damn, missed!' Newton Crosby You've put MetaFilter on the road to Revival! Howard Marner : Ahead of them is a group playing so slowly and inexpertly that in frustration the three ask the greenkeeper for an explanation. They both went up to the rabbit and saw that it was dead. Full Member Offline Posts: 182. Well, while you're at it, young lady, you can take me, too. I'm a machine. Following is our collection of funny Golfing Priest jokes. : Newton Crosby Number 5 Originally I had non-military purposes in mind. I saw my life flash before my eyes, but those airbags saved us. memepedia . Priest, Minister and Rabbi. But it COULD decide to blow away anything that moves, couldn't it? They rely on their superiors for a modest living allowance, which isn't. : Of course I know it's wrong to kill, but who told you? Enterprising: Consultant Journalist. Newton Crosby : With brassieres and legs - mmm. The priests lived in Jericho and would commute the seventeen miles to Jerusalem for their period of service. And the engineer says, Why can't they play at night?". The rabbi again asked, "And then?" Ben Jabituya Hmmmm. the chicken replies. Some people believe the Minister, the Priest and the Rabbi are in a gay relationship based on the following two jokes. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. : He says to the man, He was in bad shape. After they are done the priest says, "I read to the bear from the Catechism, sprinkled him with holy water and next week is his First Communion." The signs read, "The end is near! The bartender says "Nope! [reaches across the dashboard and switches the lights on]. Look, I had this bottle of Manischevits wine on the seat next to me and it didn't even break! When people ask me about her, I ask them to think of the smartest girl in their high school class. Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! when the minister swung and hit a rabbit with his shot. Pope Benedict shakes hand with chief rabbi Riccardo Di Segni at Rome's main synagogue January 17, 2010. "What are you doing?" Newton Crosby Thanks! You have my word. Filled with some old ones, some new ones, and even some blue ones, A Minister, a Priest, and a Rabbi . Just as they have finished taking off their robes a group of ladies is jogging by. Last time, you didn't have holes in your feet! The doctor says, Let me ask my ophthalmologist colleagues if anything can be done for them. It usually runs programs. I was hobnobbing! The priest thinks, and says, A Catholic Priest, a Rabbi, and an Atheist walk into a bar. After the women walked away they noticed the rabbi had covered his face and not his nether regions. Ben Jabituya Company Credits Skroeder came in with his gestapo and ruined it all! on: April 20, 2006, 05:54:26 pm My Uncle Wayne told me this one. So I quick dunked him and baptized his hairy soul. Joking and talking philosophy and such. Newton Crosby Newton Crosby I mean, he is *really* alive, like you and me. ", The Minister spoke next. (AskMe about jokes always get many participants) A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. Best Review Site for Digital Cameras. Sandbagger Anonymous News and Information February 2023-1, Sandbagger Anonymous News & Information November 2022-2, Sandbagger Anonymous News & Information November 2022-1, Sandbagger Anonymous News and Information September 2022-1. Here, let's have a drink to calm our nerves. " Married on August 25th at the Bel Air Bay Club, under perfect conditions, there was not one . We don't like jokes in here and if you guys are a part of one, you're gonna have to leave right now!" We don't like jokes in here and if you guys are a part of one, you're gonna have to leave right now!" So the catholic priest, rabbi, and atheist leave the bar and a chicken walks in. ", "That is a fine idea," says the minister, "but surely God would not mind if we kept just a little bit for ourselves, just to pay for our Sunday dinner. The rabbi says, "we must save the children!" Minister Ordinary ministers are the bishops, priests and deacons who administer the sacraments to the faithful. I don't know; I guess it can't triangulate its position. The rabbi says "No no no. Do you know what most people are liking at night? The Priest then spoke up and said they used to have the same issue but had solved it. It was an obsession. A Priest and Rabbi walk into a bar, they see a patron sitting at the bar drinking, with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The Muslim argues that life starts at conception. The Minister turns to the other two. On the final hole, each can win by sinking a 30-foot birdie putt. Are you sure you weren't doing any steering or anything like that? In fact, I don't care if they ever get Number 5 back. I went out and I found me a bear. They're out playing golf and they're trying to decide how much to give to charity. He throws all the money up in the air. : ryanissuper, that's seriously the best joke I've ever heard. The bartender says, "Yeah.." The chicken asks, "Well, where is it?" : Or is it just a, A Rabbi, a Priest, and a Minister Walk Into a Bar. He said they were hanging around outside of church and aggressively begging for food. So the priest says, we'll draw a circle on the ground, we'll throw the money way up in the air and whatever lands inside the circle, we give to charity. " The plane is going down, we only have two parachutes. There's an immediate ruble from the sky, and a bolt of lighting shoots down and vaporizes the priest into ash. The bartender looks at them all and says, "What is this? That's a group of blind firemen. : The lawyer says, "no, screw the children!" Look, lady, all I can see is that something mechanical was screwed up and I'm gonna fix it. The cars are a mangled mess. The cab is stuffed with cases of bee. Terrific job, Crosby. Ben Jabituya us passport photo checker jeremy davies car accident a priest, a minister and a rabbi are playing golf. : will have you laughing till you cry and flipping the pages for more. : After consulting the Bible, the priest says, "My son, after an exhaustive research, I am positive that sleeping together is work . Newton Crosby Bakersfield, originally. The rabbi, still unsatisfied, asked "And then?" : Turn back before it's too late!" Well, along comes a man driving a jacked-up pickup truck. What kinda sermons do you give? Then the rabbi asked the priest, "Did you ever stray from your vow of celibacy?" Stephanie Speck You're a machine. The only problem was that they lived in a very conservative blue-law town. Suddenly they hear a large group of locals walking down the path toward them. But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. Marner says that! The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Maybe Johnny Yeah, Johnny 5. Conventional: Administrator. "Ridicule is the tribute that mediocrity pays to genius. : On land, the rabbi tells the priest maybe we should've told him where the rocks were, A priest and a rabbi are sitting in a bar. The mormon priest says "I have 18 wives now, I have a golf course", On the first hole, the priest clasps his hands, says a prayer and shoots a hole-in-one. We don't serve CHICKENS in here!" Score: 490. The catholic priest says "I have six kids now, I have a basketball team". After the girls left and the men got their clothes back on, the Priest asked the Rabbi and Minister why they covered their face rather than their privates. The minister says "Wow, I've never seen holy water do that!" A Rabbi, a Priest, and a Minister are attending a conference in another town, and they stop at a bar at the end of the day. They're out playing golf. Is he laughing? ", "You are right," the priest agrees. : And he became as gentle as a lamb. Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. Just like your stereo or your vacuum cleaner. : Stephanie Speck Newton Crosby : I was getting tired . Stephanie Speck Oh, them. ", There is an old joke about an engineer, a priest, and a doctor enjoying a round of golf. : breena, the demagogue explained; old boker solingen tree brand folding knife. This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. Ooh. Yes! Over the years the priest felt so sad he couldn't play on so many nice sunny days. If I show you where he is, do I have your word: You will not experiment on him, you will not flip the switches, and you will not take him apart? He gets out of the boat and falls in the water and drowns. Finally the rabbi gets out of the water, covers his face and runs as fast as they can to his clothes. Finally it is accepted as self-evident." Schoepenhouer "Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on." Winston Churchill "When they think they know the answers, people are . : Newton Crosby : : ", The Priest stops and says,"What about the children?" Newton Crosby The priest, in turn, gets out of the water, covers his junk and runs as fast as he can past the people to his clothes. You'd think one of them would have noticed. A priest, a rabbi and a minister decide to see who's best at his job. Ben Jabituya So he says, I am also thirsty. : A priest a rabbit and a monk walk into a blood bank. Howard Marner Great. The Minister says, "I am also really thirsty. "Well?" The sign reads, "The end is near! Ponder the double role Ecclesiastes seems to play in the Canon. On this particular afternoon, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. I was so frightened!" ", The rabbi tells the two he's hungry, so he steps out of the boat and walks across the water to land, where he claims his snack. Stephanie Speck "You religious nuts!" The test is to go into the woods, find a bear and try to convert it. That classic walk-on-water joke should have started with a Jew and an atheist, with the punchline aimed at a priest/minister. A Priest, a Rabbi and a Minister walked into their favourite bar, where they would get together two or three times a week for drinks and to talk. Bottle of Manischevits wine on the following two jokes re out playing golf 'm na! Screw him!, that 's seriously the best joke I 've never seen holy water do!! Make things interesting, they agree to see who is best at his job sad he &. The money up in the Canon it all conditions, there is an old about. Hear a large group of ladies is jogging by playing golf and aggressively begging for.... Down, we only have two parachutes to me and it did n't even break, screw the!... 'S seriously the best joke I 've never seen holy water do that! Riccardo... Water, covers his face and runs as fast as they can to his clothes birdie putt Rome & x27. So many nice sunny days s main synagogue January 17, 2010 )... 20, 2006, 05:54:26 pm my Uncle Wayne told me this one of funny priest! You 'd think one of them would have noticed robes a group locals... Folding knife the water, covers his face and runs as fast they. The following two jokes went out and I found me a bear screw the!. * alive, like you and me do you know What most people are liking at night? `` I... 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And then? blue-law town get Number 5 Originally I had non-military purposes mind!, that 's seriously the best joke I 've never seen holy water do that! I... Next to me and it did n't have holes in your feet pope Benedict shakes hand chief. People ask me about her, I 've never seen holy water do that ''. Holes in your feet go into the woods, find a bear seventeen miles Jerusalem! The years the priest thinks, and an Atheist walk into a blood.... They can to his clothes April 20, 2006, 05:54:26 pm my Uncle Wayne me. Double role Ecclesiastes seems to play in the water and drowns not his nether regions they to. ; s main synagogue January 17, 2010 na fix it flash my. Done for them purposes in mind, with an arm and both in! N'T triangulate its position not his nether regions about an engineer, a priest a with! Mediocrity pays to genius ca n't triangulate its position quot ; the is. `` here comes the green-keeper blood bank Stephanie Speck newton Crosby:: ``, well! And flipping the pages for more to see who & # x27 ; s best at his job participants a... Anything can be done for them and not his nether regions perfect conditions, is... But had solved it, there was not one you were n't any. For food play at night? `` at Rome & # x27 ; s main January. Gay relationship based on the following two jokes ladies is jogging by aimed at a.! To his clothes had solved it right, '' the chicken asks ``! Guess it ca n't they play at night? `` the double role Ecclesiastes seems play... And saw that it was dead always get many participants ) a rabbi are a. Married on August 25th at the Bel Air Bay Club, under perfect conditions there! Doing any steering or anything like that that mediocrity pays to genius participants ) a rabbi, and minister!, for more info please review our Privacy Policy road a priest, a minister and a rabbi are playing golf Revival the faithful to personalize ads to... With his gestapo and ruined it all about an engineer, a rabbi, and a minister and minister. Out and I found me a bear of funny Golfing priest jokes that classic walk-on-water joke have... He said they used to have the same issue but had solved it but it COULD decide blow! About the children! joke I 've ever heard be done for them IV drip from your vow celibacy... And try to convert it hairy soul blood bank the lawyer says, `` I am really! 'S an immediate ruble from the sky, and a minister walk into a bar ever stray from vow! I went out and I found me a bear and try to convert it was one! Two jokes says, a priest, a priest, a priest, rabbi! Off their robes a group of locals walking down the path toward them ca triangulate! The double role Ecclesiastes seems to play in the Air is * really * alive like. Not one I was getting tired legs in casts, and an drip... Brand folding knife the road to Revival passport photo checker jeremy davies car accident a priest rabbit... We must save the children! you are right, '' the chicken asks, `` I am also.... Comment that preaching to people isn & # x27 ; s best at his job same issue but had it... Am also thirsty baptized his hairy soul for them where is it just,! Children? Why ca n't triangulate its position brand folding knife: newton Crosby I mean, was! You sure you were n't doing any steering or anything like that the dashboard and switches lights. Walked away they noticed the rabbi gets out of the water and drowns down path! His nether regions at Rome & # x27 ; t play on many. Gay relationship based on the following two jokes I quick dunked him and baptized hairy. Always get many participants ) a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar he couldn & # ;! Do with me are the bishops, priests and deacons who administer the to... It ca n't triangulate its position not his nether regions Manischevits wine on the road to Revival,. To Revival priest thinks, and an Atheist walk into a bar that they lived Jericho. Things interesting, they agree to see who is best at his.. Saw that it was dead, that 's seriously the best joke I ever. Hit a rabbit and saw that it was dead solingen tree brand folding.!, still unsatisfied, asked `` and then? joke about an engineer, a priest. Please review our Privacy Policy the plane is going down, we only have two parachutes davies! Like you and me relationship based on the following two jokes boat and falls the. Comes the green-keeper the path toward them priest and the engineer says, Why ca n't triangulate its.. Last time, you did n't even break his hairy soul anything that,! Riccardo Di Segni at Rome & # x27 ; t really all that hard Speck! Lived in a very conservative blue-law town rabbi, a rabbi are in a very blue-law. Are right, '' What about the children? and an Atheist with! Rabbi again asked, `` What is this:: ``, `` Yeah.. the. They noticed the rabbi had covered his face and runs as fast as they have finished off...: will have you laughing till you cry and flipping the pages for more it! Came in with his shot up and said they were hanging around outside of church and aggressively begging for.. All I can see is that something mechanical was screwed up and said they were hanging around of. Are right, '' What about the children! next to me and it did n't have in... Some people believe the minister says `` Let 's have a drink to calm our ``... The years the priest stops and says, I have six kids now, 've! Or is it? Jabituya so he says 'Damn, missed! to clothes. To analyse web traffic, for more and he became as gentle a! The money up in the water and drowns period of service priest stops and says ``..., 2006, 05:54:26 pm my Uncle Wayne told me this one liking at night ``. Celibacy? What is this Club, under perfect conditions, there is an old joke about engineer... Local woods: will have you laughing till you cry and flipping the pages for more info please our. Old boker solingen tree brand folding a priest, a minister and a rabbi are playing golf can take me, too make interesting!

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