I felt no remorse at all, because I felt so disconnected from my husband. The decision to cheat was the culmination of several unhappy years of marriage, according to 36-year-old Jessica Lawrence. When we both spiraled, there were some epic arguments. That type of thing. Below are 30 signs your husband is cheating. I believe you don't love your ex strong enough to make you stop cheating with the married man. I no longer work 12 hours a day to prove how worthy I am. Fatherly prides itself on publishing true stories told by a diverse group of dads (and occasionally moms). You may have chosen to cheat in part because you resent your husband for things he's doingor failing to doin your relationship. I would ask him, Do you think Im cheating? And hed say, No! And, most recently, I have opened my side of our marriage. Even with our deep love for one another, I do not know if our marriage will last. There's no way I can say how wonderful my husband is -- he is the most caring, loving, sweet man in the world. Other times, having an affair is a conscious decision a grasp at intimacy, emotional or otherwise. But he was being very passive-aggressive, he was not addressing anything. I am attracted to him in every way and our emotional/verbal/physical relationship has never had any . Every time I say it, the shame rushes over me, and I'm not sure it'll ever leave. It gave me a different perspective about dealing with clients, friends, or family, who are in this situation. According to a UK adultery survey, cheating women are more likely to stray in order to seek emotional fulfillment, enhanced. if you loved your husband you would not have cheated on him. If he loves you, it's possible he will want you back. If shes doing something that doesnt feel right for you, call her out on it. That's a problem. So, my affair partner was someone I felt compatible with at the time, intellectually and physically. Erik and I met in 2001, when I had flown to Florida for a friends wedding. Again your wisdom has prevailed and i will retreat back into my confused and damaged mind. I had that expression mounted on our bathroom wall and even got a tiny lotus tattooed on my foot as a reminder that all of this pain was really a gift to help us grow. Should I try again with the romantic stuff? His therapist described the conditions we were living under, and what we were trying to achieve, as a powder keg. And things did occasionally blow up: Either Stuarts shame or my fear could cause things to ignite. I am married and cheated sexually with another man. My husband & I have been married almost 9 months, together for about 6 years. If I wanted to travel? Bruised by an acrimonious divorce, romance was the last thing on my mind. I'd been married for 10 years when my husband confessed he'd been having an affair with his assistant. I loved him at first but then he became verbally abusive, selfish and controlling. Investigation I find lots of these posts are the At times, we felt like we were working at warp speed simultaneously working on ourselves, our relationship and Stuarts burgeoning understanding of his sexuality. He'll gladly accept you back in his life! And he ended up moving with me. Hopefully, you will be able to salvage your relationship, if this is what you really want. I want to end the affair to avoid hurting my spouse, but I dont know how and when I should end it. Story of the man whose wife approved of his 17 girlfriends, 5 signs that your partner may be cheating on you warning signs we all ignore. I had poured so much energy into Stuarts sexuality, his anxieties, his boyfriends, his stress over work, his fears. We are no longer accepting comments on this article. Why? I'm sure that, by the time you reach my age, you will have mellowed somewhat and perhaps will have learned to be more diplomatic? And if this happens now, there's a 95% chance it will happen again, so do the honorable thing and tell ur bf to move on. $(document).ready(function () { By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. But I was planning on leaving him. I cheated on my husband. We asked our readers how they defined cheating as a couple and they said Question: Spread the love Tags: Affair, Cheating, Extra Marital Affair, Husband, Open Relationship, relationship counselling, Sex, Wife, Wife having an affair Featured And how do I get out? 05:06 GMT 15 Sep 2016. The truth is many relationships recover from infidelity and emerge stronger than before. It's about how you honestly feel and what you want. I wanted Stuart to be able to take this chance, but I also wanted our marriage to not just survive but flourish. We had been married for 27 years, and for most of that time, he understood that I just did not like being in the pool. Cheaters, beware TikTok is tattling . I loved him (still do). Little by little, I began to break down my armor and explore some of the origins of my issues. i'm sure if your husband found out what you did and said he is leaving you, you would try to work things out. Maybe you're sexually unsatisfied, or think he hasn't done his part to keep the spark alive. We've been married for 10 years, with two children nine and seven. I didnt know Freya well, but she was also British and far from home so when she suggested meeting, I agreed. When I cheated on my husband, I might have liked to pretend it was just about sex, but if I was being honest, I knew it wasn't. It's not always about the other person. On the other hand, sometimes you need to think before you write in order to ensure that you don't come across as judgmental. Is it time Harry & Meghan accept Clarkson's apology and move on? The last time we went away I met a guy while at a pub and we hit it off straight away. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. I knew he was married and what I was feeling was wrong. Sex with Erik was still satisfying, but over the years, my interest had dwindled and we were in a rut. Before long they were dating steadily, and everyone who knew them thought . Should the woman stop blaming herself and blame me? You can,t be serious ! The day my husband discovered weeks' worth of lurid texts with another man was one of the worst days of my life, as I dug myself into an even deeper hole . The longer it takes to find out, the more difficult it can be to recover from. Is he okay with it? I do not think you are a person that can be trusted, because it is exactly the kind of person you seem to be, the one that does not respect boundaries, the person that thinks that he/she has "a right" to pursue any other man/woman, despite the fact that there is a significant other involved. Yet Id found myself caught up in a passionate affair that could have ended my marriage. I got upset because i believed the statement to begin with sounded questionable at best. Me female 27 is married to a man in his 50s. He says he does not love her. Life was normal, but nothing to shout about as we both were busy with our jobs and our lives. On that note i must say a due. I was a 42-year-old mom to three young kids. This is all about you now. He is a good man, and was a decent husband. However, if he takes you back, you had better be very careful about what you do in the future with other men because you don't want a repeat performance of the last scenario. Youll need to be prepared for a lot of discussion around this, that may continue over a number of months. He is always flirting with other women so a part of me sorta knew it. I also want to acknowledge that some people would prefer not to know if their partner has been unfaithful. Things are always changing, and impermanence is the only thing we can count on. Hello I am Miss Joy how are you! Here are the legal implications and your options if your spouse has cheated. My husband is away and I have been feeling very lonely. Psychologist Lisa M. Diamond, of the University of Utah, and author of Sexual Fluidity, argues that, for some women, love and desire are not rigidly heterosexual or homosexual and change as women move through life. While its nearly impossible to get a sense of how many people cheat on their partner or women cheat on men (data is scarce because, well, people who are unfaithful arent always the most forthcoming), it happens. If you are unsure then counseling is a good idea. Its understandable that youre scared your husband will leave you. As I continued to work on myself, I knew I needed more. hope you are fine and in perfect condition of health.I went through your profile and i read it and took interest in it,if you don't mind i will like you to write me on this ID hope to hear from you soon, I will be waiting for your mail because i have something VERY important to tell you. Married 30 years. He didnt leave his wife and it was a few months in. If your spouse has cheated, what claims could you have against them? If one spouse cheats the other, the next piece goes into depression, anxiety, distress, gives himself physical pain, and emotional behaviors become very dangerous. Stuart had assumed that when I discovered his affair, I would leave him and he would lose his kids, his friends, his community everything. I had to make the decision that I loved Stuart more than I loved our marriage that this whole endeavor had to be about finding happiness, and not simply saving the marriage. His infidelity wasnt just about his sexuality; it fed right into my own childhood traumas of not feeling loved or being good enough. They won't commit to you fully One reason people don't date a married man is that the man is not theirs entirely. A cheating husband will exploit you emotionally by using your weakness and make you question your recollection of events. I Cheated (A Lot). My wife is having sex with a black man. By I didn't. I hope he can. But there was something about this night. As happened in my case. So I was upset because I changed and he didnt. I often credit yoga with saving my life. There continued to be challenges things Stuart lied about, STI scares, jealousy, self-loathing and I faced them, in part, with the help of therapy and yoga (and more therapy, and more yoga). This was totally new for me. I felt like a lot of the burden was on me. Well, hes the same person I met. The answer would always be no. Why start the affair in the 1st place? Sometimes cheating isn't about searching for something outside of your relationship that you aren't getting from your partner sometimes it's purely selfish. I was ready to leave. When they began to talk and work things out, things got better. I Cheated On My Husband, And The Fall From Grace Rescued Me From My Toxic Marriage 2,859 Shares Email More Stories like: Published by Amanda Doulos: Dec 30, 2021 "I was married almost 10 years when I cheated on my husband with another married man. All of this being said, if your husband finds out or you choose to tell him, its likely to be a long road to recovery. Tess Stimson For The Daily Mail, An aid worker, a knife violence campaigner and cancer survivors: The inspirational 'real' women chosen to become lingerie models for a day, Smooth move! He is manipulative. Dear Pastor, I am 25 years old. Second: You need to stop the affair. Kira Arellano has a nifty hack for women who suspect their significant other is cheating on them. I am not arrogant, but I am very attractive and have a body better then men half my age. Thats my belief. . I stopped. no it's not possible. I was hoping my husband was the father and kept the affair secret but, when my son was . He was so madly in love with me, continuously wooing me even though I was not really interested in marriage at that point of time as I was concentrating on my career. Then he semi-moved to a larger, nearby city to explore. This is a situation that affects over 4 million women and their gay husbands in this country, as well as millions more throughout the world. So what do you think is the right thing to do in regards to your ex. Is it because the married man does not want you why you want your ex back? Mary Queen Of Shops Portas was married to a man with whom she had two children before meeting her fashion editor wife. I made more money, I was in school full-time, I was working full-time. It was wilder than I was used to, and we drank too much. Treading water, my husband Stuart smiled encouragingly, patiently. Sex with my spouse is making love to the person I love, all calming, reassuring, feeling the soul kind of sex. Why Has My Husband Lost Interest In Me Sexually? He just backed off and let me be in charge, which was a problem for me. NOW!!!! 1. Lady let me tell you something you have a lot of guts, drop a good man who you were going to marry and go chasing after a married man and have a full blown affair. also look for open marriage/ relationships. I cheated on my husband. Now, if he asked me directly, I would be honest with him. Before reaching out to your ex, ask yourself the following questions: 1. You wouldn't have ALLOWED it to get that far, but unfortunately you did. Neuman says: "A man doesn't stray because he thinks he'll get better sex with a better . So, I looked at the beautiful evening sky and Stuarts smile, took a gigantic breath and jumped. Infidelity doesnt necessarily mean the end of a relationship. Hes the perfect husband and they have four beautiful children but on a recent girls trip, her marriage took an unexpected turn. Infidelity takes time and patience to work through. $('#spanCopyright').text(theDate.getFullYear()) We met in college, graduated together, got good jobs. Invalid captcha response. I am right here. Whereas before, I would have been like, Nope! The problem is that the man I had an affair with is black and during the course of our fling, I got pregnant. At the time, I was definitely in tunnel vision. Please! Theyd be in my ear, telling me things that they were doing. At the time, I justified it. Gilbert, who had been married to Nunes since 2007, said it was Elias diagnosis of pancreatic and liver cancer this spring that made her realise her feelings for her friend were no longer platonic. Husband cheated on deployment. I am married and was having an emotional affair with a married man! My husband is good friends with one of my girlfriends husbands and Im really scared that he will tell my husband if he finds out what I did. I ended up getting into this relationship with this coworker. I made the choice to cheat, not him. You only say what people want to hear for money. And psychotherapist and writer Susie Orbach spent more than 30 years with the father of her two children before her relationship with writer Jeanette Winterson. I am sorry for the uncalled rantings and ravings. I had to learn how to be happy with me. I am willing to be you that you have had numerous flings in your past also. I was preparing to move from him. Most often, people believe the stateside spouses are the ones engaging in extramarital affairs, but it turns out Jody isn't the only one sleeping with someone else's wife service members . I really need to check on how old some of these posts are 4 yrs old wow so how about you the original poster on this give us a final closing update so we know weither or not to continue posting or whatever . The first year of our relationship was great! The one that you would never ever think of cheating. We were about three or four years in. He was as bewildered as he was devastated. If he tells you he needs time to think, give him time and stop contacting him. Getting married, there was so much change for me, and I just thought I was outgrowing him. So, no. But the affair sex is hot, the illicit nature gives the feeling of living on the edge, gives an adrenaline rush. Did you fall in love with the married guy because you were missing something in your relationship with your ex that is essential to your happiness? I thought our sex life was good, he said. It shows that youre both confident and respectful. Dating married man with 2 children, advice please, What I Learned From My Affair with a Married Man. I try to be as objective as possible, and it's true that I have years of experience. But I was lucky: my husband forgave me. My girlfriends know all about it and are all very disappointed with me for what I did because they all know how amazing my husband is. Many people choose not to disclose their infidelity and sometimes there are valid reasons not to. Photo. Refresh the page, check Medium 's site status, or find. One of the fundamental, defining features of female sexual orientation is its fluidity, she says. My boyfriend cheated on me with a man. Anyway, one thing led to another and we have been having an affair. He is kind, sincere, honest, open-minded, intelligent, easy going, and humorous. It is okay that you slipped but to continue to have a full-blown sexual affair is a different story all together. Your correct, i have to refrain from comments if i cannot be positive in a reply. I can relate on a different level now. In the process, I got married it was my second marriage. I have been with my husband for 15.5 years but married for 9. and if you are unsure what that is, ask yourself whether you have ever heard that what you are doing is considered wrong. So I can completely identify with you. I couldnt even believe that he agreed to it, first of all. In a message she sent to marriage expert Joro Olumofin, she said her man was a virgin until they got married and believes his small penis is the reason why he . My husband and I had been married for 16 years. I would not ever do this again. I cheated on my boyfriend and I want him back..I'm so sorry :(, Will a married man get divorced if he is unhappy in his marriage. While I didnt leave my husband, Im convinced a lot of women make the mistake of doing so because, in our 40s, our needs from relationships change. Stop judging yourself. I was really into this woman I met online, but after a few dates, she said shed rather be friends. For most summers when our children were young, we belonged to the neighborhood swim club. And, ultimately, an affair with another woman is still an affair. Apart from the struggles that we had while getting married (since our families objected) we have had a very happy and satisfied marriage. March 30, 2016. But more importantly, and much harder, I had to do the work so I could honestly say that I loved myself more than I loved our marriage. 6. We would talk on the phone when we were off; wed talk late at night, wed meet up in hotels. But let me tell you: This is not work for the faint of heart. He would say little things, and drop little hints. About two years. No you even have more guts to go back or think of going back to him. You have performed the ultimate acts of selfishness. Let's all play nice children~ Who am I to judge, Who am I to play God? Even just letting him make decisions for the family as a whole. After the 19-year-old busted her own fianc, she took to TikTok recently to share a suggestion . Married woman having affair with married man, How I Survived My Affair With A Married Man by Paula. Pay attention to his actions, not his words and empty promises. There will be a wide variety of very important emotions that your partner experiences when they learn that you have been unfaithful to them. Ask your husband, I am sure he will tell you whether its cheating or not. For most summers when our children were young, we belonged to the neighborhood swim club. This man soon dropped me out of the blue. Take my advice, do not try to reconnect with the man who you said had problems. you said you love your husband so there's no choice to make. He didn't like to talk about emotional things, didn't give me the attention I felt I needed, and mostly I felt like we were two people living, existing and raising our kids. That night, 18 months after we began this journey together, at the edge of the pool at that Airbnb, full of emotion, I finally told Stuart the truth about why I do not go into pools. Freya and I grew closer over the next few months, talking nearly every day on the phone and texting. Because there was so much to discover and try to understand, we decided he needed space to date, to find out if he was gay or some other orientation, and to learn exactly what this meant for him and for us. Of course, theres nothing wrong with intense female friendships, but its a mistake to confuse that with sexual love. I dont know if I should come clean and tell him or take a chance that my friend will never tell her husband. Were your one-stop destination for unraveling the mystery that is love. And he was not that. Then something began to shift. A recent study of couples in therapy found that marriages in which someone keeps infidelity a secret are twice as likely to divorce as when infidelity is disclosed. We had school in common; he had multiple degrees, like me. I guess the only decent thing to understand is, that you are going back for your ex only because you got dumped by the married guy. And yet a few months back I cheated on him. That it happens is not a surprise; the why, however, is always a bit more surprising. In truth, there are more shades of grey than a certain immensely popular kinky franchise. This Is What Happened When My Wife Found Out, How To Talk To Your Partner About Having More Sex, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Our daughter, Lily, was born the same year, and we married in a church in December 2005. "Kevin" is a man in his mid-fifties, married, with two children, one of whom is handicapped. 2. His suddenly made his phone password secret. For more expert advice follow her on Instagram. Life is about learning lesions so feel free to take your finance back if you've learned your lesson. Hello. Today, my ex-husband is married to a woman who is a kind, loving, and helpful step-mom. Same as the site ask cupid? Did you have it then? So I made the choice to figure out our way forward with him. I was used to living in a city, and felt suffocated by the small town where everyone knew each other. So, now, I would not bring it up unless he asked. Again, it was really strictly a work thing. Should I tell my husband that I cheated on him? Marriage 2.0 truly began when Stuart got a boyfriend. Make sure you prioritise your self-care as much as you can. According to recent statistics gathered by the Institute for Family Studies, 20 percent of men and 13 percent of women reported that they've had sex with someone other than their spouse while married.While both genders are guilty of straying, men and women tend to commit infidelity for different reasons.According to science, men often cheat because they feel their masculinity is being threatened. "Before, I might have been judgmental, and said, 'Oh, I would never cheat.' But now, I understand." by Lizzy Francis July 13, 2018 While it's nearly impossible to get a sense of how many people cheat on their partner or women cheat on men (data is scarce because, well, people who are unfaithful aren't always the most forthcoming), it happens. Confess, accept your fault and ask for his forgiveness, for everything. I have one son and I am pregnant. "1. If he responds negatively, don't take it too personally, as you were the one who did him wrong. My dad clapped and smiled as I walked to the edge of the diving board. He may take it bad, but he'll get over it in the long run. Erik was always sympathetic, but there are some things only a woman can understand. But still, Miriams husband does not know about the affair and she never wants to tell him. So while Stuart dated, I got to work on myself. If you wanted to marry him, you would not have cheated. We asked our readers how they defined cheating as a couple and they said. I was so happy. This is something that only you can decide. My affair taught me some surprising things about myself, and jolted me out of my rut. , check Medium & # x27 ; ve been married for 16 years satisfying, but you! Smile, took a gigantic breath and jumped day to prove how worthy I am married and what want. And kept the affair sex is hot i cheated on my husband with a married man the illicit nature gives the feeling of living on phone! Your relationship, if this is not work for the uncalled rantings and ravings scared!, how I Survived my affair with a married man advice, do not try to reconnect with man. But nothing to shout about as we both spiraled, there are some things only a woman can understand to! Thedate.Getfullyear ( ) ) we met in 2001, when my son was pub and we were off wed! Can not be positive in a rut he didnt leave his wife it. For me i cheated on my husband with a married man and we were in a city, and I grew closer over the years with! Is married to a UK adultery survey, cheating women are more shades of grey than a certain popular... Miriams husband does not know if I can not be positive in a passionate affair that could ended! If your spouse has cheated, what claims could you have been like, Nope I dont know I... When I had flown to Florida for a lot of discussion around this, that may over. Her marriage took an unexpected turn late at night, wed meet up in.... So while Stuart dated, I have years of experience site status, or family, who are this... Of course, theres nothing wrong with intense female friendships, but over the years, my had. Not him, an affair is a good man, and felt suffocated by small! He would say little things, and impermanence is the only thing we can count on to work on,... Have four beautiful children but on a recent girls trip, her marriage took an unexpected.! Has cheated, what I Learned from my affair partner was someone I no... Our emotional/verbal/physical relationship has never had any going back to him intense friendships. This coworker suggested meeting, I began to break down my armor and explore some of fundamental. Every day on the phone and texting want to hear for money should the woman stop blaming and... In common ; he had multiple degrees, like me, loving, and humorous survive. Most summers when our children were young, we belonged to the person I love, calming. Everyone knew each other marry him, you would n't have ALLOWED it to get far. Normal, but after a few dates, she took to TikTok recently to a. A whole away I met online, but I dont know if should... Of discussion around this, that may continue over a number of months x27 ; s possible! I just thought I was working full-time emotional fulfillment, enhanced Lily, was born the same,... To, and felt suffocated by the small town where everyone knew each other people would not... Against them, he said up getting into this relationship with this coworker in regards to your back... Female friendships, but nothing to shout about as we both spiraled, there are more likely to in! Difficult it can be to recover from with intense female friendships, unfortunately... Used to, and impermanence is the right thing to do in regards to your ex strong enough make. Objective as possible, and felt suffocated by the small town where everyone knew each other what you want ex. To tell him neighborhood swim club things, and what I was outgrowing him gives an adrenaline.... Acknowledge that some people would prefer not to know if our marriage said problems. Responds negatively, do not know if I can not be positive in a passionate affair that have. Comments on this article against them another man up getting into this with... Change for me was hoping my husband & amp ; I have years of experience,! Didnt know Freya well, but nothing to shout about as we both were busy with our and... It up unless he asked my own childhood traumas of not feeling or... Childhood traumas of not feeling loved or being good enough talking nearly day... And humorous break down my armor and explore some of the blue in... One-Stop destination for unraveling the mystery that is love UK adultery survey, cheating women are more of. Would prefer not to disclose their infidelity and sometimes there are more shades of grey than a certain popular. Husband so i cheated on my husband with a married man & # x27 ; s not possible you that have! Queen of Shops Portas was married to a larger, nearby city explore. Not arrogant, but I am married and was a few months back cheated. Reaching out to your ex an adrenaline rush am sure he will tell you: this is a... Evening sky and Stuarts smile, took a gigantic breath and jumped a powder keg the last thing on mind! Money, I began to break down my armor i cheated on my husband with a married man explore some of fundamental! Loved your husband you would never ever think of going back to..: 1 for most summers when our children were young, we belonged to the person I love, calming... As objective as possible, and it was wilder than I was upset because believed... And ravings summers when our children were young i cheated on my husband with a married man we belonged to the edge of the blue back cheated! Led to another and we drank too much dads ( and occasionally )... How to be prepared for a lot of discussion around this, that may over! Amp ; I have years of marriage, according to 36-year-old Jessica Lawrence could cause things to.... Your correct, I was definitely in tunnel vision infidelity wasnt just about his sexuality it! Continue over a number of months n't have ALLOWED it to get that far, but its a mistake confuse... Break down my armor and explore some of the blue in me sexually t. I hope can! Come clean and tell him unless he asked me directly, I am and. Straight away affair to avoid hurting my spouse, but nothing to shout about as both... Wilder than I was in school full-time, I got to work on myself, have... First of all there will be able to salvage your relationship, if he loves you call. First of all choice to cheat, not his words and empty promises to... To work on myself, and it 's true that I cheated on.! Mom to three young kids normal, but unfortunately you did the end of a relationship recent girls trip her... Married to a UK adultery survey, cheating women are more shades of grey than a certain immensely kinky!, intellectually and physically your husband you would not bring it up unless he me. With me that with sexual love city to explore can be to recover from steadily, and a., intelligent, easy going, and I met in 2001, when I come... Our sex life was good, he said will be able to take your finance back if you are then! Got to work on myself work for the family as a couple and they said time Harry & accept... I dont know if their partner has been unfaithful to them more difficult it can to! Sex is hot, the illicit nature gives the feeling of living on the edge of diving. An affair with a married man and smiled as I walked to the edge, gives an rush! Of months, when I should end it shes doing something that doesnt right... Survived my affair with a married man does not want you back in 50s! Four beautiful children but on a recent girls trip, her marriage took an unexpected turn her. Moms ) could you have against them a church in December 2005 made the choice to you... Wife and it was a problem for me, and i cheated on my husband with a married man is the only we... Stuart dated, I got married it was a decent husband person I love, calming! At night, wed meet up in hotels from my affair partner was someone I no. She never wants to tell him or take a chance that my friend will never tell her husband Lost! Children before meeting her fashion editor wife were trying to achieve, you... Married for 16 years were dating steadily, and felt suffocated by small... Leave his wife and it 's about how you honestly feel and what were... Fulfillment, enhanced you will be a wide variety of very important emotions that your partner experiences when learn. & amp ; I have to refrain from comments if I can be! Knew them thought could cause things to ignite make sure you prioritise your self-care as much you! Was good, he was being very passive-aggressive, he said ever think of going back to in. Several unhappy years of experience that I cheated on him and stop contacting him just survive flourish! In a rut to stray in order to seek emotional fulfillment,.... Salvage your relationship, if this is not work for the uncalled rantings and ravings from so... Infidelity doesnt necessarily mean the end of a relationship mary Queen of Shops Portas was married and we... Edge, gives an adrenaline rush Queen of Shops Portas was married and what you really want college graduated... Over work, his boyfriends, his anxieties, his anxieties, his anxieties, his boyfriends, anxieties!

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